The airplane ride was blissfully uneventful, despite the fact that was eternal. I sat next to an ancient Armenian lady with whom I could not communicate, but she kept giving me friendly pats on the shoulder and occasionally grabbed my hand.
I got to my tiny hotel– I chose it because it’s near my friend Anya’s apartment– and had a little trouble finding it due to the complete lack of sign and the fact that no one on its street had ever heard of it. But once I finally found it– four floors up– it’s great! The lady who checked me in sprayed me with perfume because she said she wants everyone to smell like it. She also told me she used to be beautiful until her teeth “went outside”– she said this last bit in English. Then she drew me a map to a grocery store, pointing out where the guard to the grocery store’s gate is. To emphasize her point that there is a man standing there, she drew an anatomically correct stick man. I like this woman.
I took a shower and went immediately to bed, which is why I look like this.